bright-eyed life

Goodbye...and Hello!

2009-06-24T20:34:00.005-04:00

This post is my pledge to get back to writing about my journeys and experiences here in this bright-eyed life. It's only bright when I choose it to be.

I'm no longer part of the Transformation community, having departed several months back. I have learned so much there and it added to my life immensely, taught me about being present and aware of my thoughts, complaints, preferences and so much more I can't fit it all here. I would really like to thank Ariel & Shya Kane and everyone within the Transformation community for the time we spent together.

Now it's on to other learnings for me: including Centerpointe's Holosync Meditation program, and Bill Harris' (founder of Centerpointe) Life Principles Integration Process program. Both really great and supportive programs for awareness and creating what you want.

Life is a wonderous and amazing journey where I, like you, create and control my experience. I am playing more music than ever before, excelling at my IT job, and getting in the best physical shape I've been in years.

More to come soon...

Best,
David

The 25th Century is here....

2008-09-28T22:38:00.003-04:00

No not the future...but my band! We just played our first show and it was killer. Thanks to all that came out. You can check us out at www.myspace.com/the25thcentury for upcoming shows and to listen to tracks. The 25th Century - energetic rock, pop & funk to move your body & soul....

Working on Yourself Doesn't Work

2008-09-28T22:17:00.004-04:00

Hey everyone - Ariel & Shya Kane have re-released "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" - with publisher McGraw Hill! It's the bigtime baby! This new edition has 30% new material - and I can't wait to read it.

So get your own copy today - click here to go the Transformational Moments blog to find out how to buy it.

Just What Is Happiness, Anyway?

2008-08-03T22:32:00.001-04:00

A fantastic article by Ariel & Shya Kane explaining how people get in the way of their own happiness; and how nothing in particular needs to be "done" or sought to find true contentment.

read more | digg story

A New Earth

2008-04-05T11:25:00.005-04:00

I've always heard about Oprah and how amazing she is. I can't really say much about her personally, but I do know that she is a powerful woman that has a great deal of media reach. I think it is amazing that she uses that reach to spread the importance of awareness.

I recently heard about her webcasts with Eckart Tolle, author of the amazing book "The Power of Now". He just released a new book called "A New Earth". In support of it, Oprah is doing live webcasts with Eckart Tolle every Monday evening for 12 weeks. As of now, they are halfway through at Week 6. I'll be hanging at Monday Night Alive most of those evenings, but I have been watching the archived webcasts and they are amazing. Eckart Tolle is another master of being present. I highly recommend you check them out if you are interested in awareness, awakening, enlightenment or Transformation. Like the Kanes' books, audios and workshops, I think this webcast series is a great support for life.

Check out the webcast archives for "A New Earth". It's absolutely worth watching.

"An Enlightened Stroke"

2008-03-22T16:09:00.003-04:00

This is a fantastic speech given by Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain research scientist, who had an enlightening experience when she had a stroke. At one point Jill talks about the energy that lives within us, and the human brain as a place where this energy lives. So I came to think, what if that brain is not only a processor of information and energy, but also a transmitter and receiver of this energy - one that connects us all beyond just our five senses? That would make sense to explain human intuition psychic ability - perhaps a scientific explanation for all those "unseen" senses.

Check out the TED video "My Stroke of Insight".

Love Foolosophy Acoustic

2008-02-23T23:58:00.003-05:00

Here's one of my favorite Jamiroquai songs--an acoustic version--with some breezy Brazilian-style chords. I just learned to play it by ear tonight, and I hope that you enjoy it just as much as I do. A beautiful song and a great performance by Rob on guitar and of course Jay Kay on vocals.

"Love Foolosophy" w/ Jay Kay & Rob Harris of Jamiroquai

The Life and Legacy of Werner Erhard

2008-02-19T13:07:00.005-05:00

Werner-Erhard founded EST and some have called him the grand-daddy of Transformation. Not sure what that means, but there's actually a film about his development of Transformation and his life story, which looks really interesting. Check out this link when you have a moment.

TRANSFORMATION: The Life and Legacy of Werner Erhard

We Live in the Lap of Luxury

2008-02-08T10:01:00.000-05:00

"Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs"

Shya Kane spoke about Maslow's theory of survival and development during this year's Costa Rica 2008 Group 1. So much happened and was discussed in Costa Rica, this is but one of many topics that arose from the moment. I find Maslow's theory simple yet elegant. Just last night, I was walking from my living room to my bathroom to take a shower and I realized something...almost everything that I have, own or want is a luxury other than basic needs on the physiological level. I live a luxurious lifestyle. In fact, I think that we all do. So I've decided to list luxuries that come to mind:

Heat, hot water, cell phone, computer, internet, Google, futon, bed, mp3 player, frozen food, vitamins, coffee, shoes, jeans, blazer, jewelry, guitar, voice lessons, restaurants, refrigerator, medicines like antacid or pain relievers, sunglasses, towels, bottled water, running water, toilets and sanitation, apartment buildings, subway, cars, bikes, airplanes, taxis, clock radio, lamps and lights, my job, electricity, garbage service...and so on.

All of these things above are luxuries and only a few of them. Give it go and list your own, I'm sure you'll come up with many more. Most of these luxuries become preferences for us after a while. What I mean is that we prefer to have them and when they are not available, we often find ourselves complaining, throwing temper tantrums and being brats about not having what we think that "we need". We create drama via complaint, just because our survival mechanisms are so strongly bred into our human nature. We generate a survival mode around things we truly don't need to survive. Surviving is no fun, and why continue to survive when you don't really have to? You can thrive, have fun and have life be easy. That is transformation. It is truly a strange concept and not normal, because most of us have been raised in a culture of survival. The concept of thriving isn't in our normal way of being. And that survival mechanism coupled with our complaints over cold coffee and late trains turns us into little brats. Really there is nothing to complain about if you take an honest look. But it takes an ability to "transcend your bratty nature" and transform. A skill set that can be learned by anyone.

We really do live in the lap of luxury.

Your Life is Happening Now

2008-01-03T10:52:00.000-05:00

I thought this picture was perfect for this post. I was looking for someone doing something "mundane" like washing the dishes or doing the laundry to illustrate the point that you really can enjoy wherever you are, if you are actually there for it. But that's just not as sexy as this picture (at least to the mind), so I figured hey why don't I just mess you a bit. Devlish, aren't I?

I choose this picture because it's beautiful to look at and most likely will appease your mind in some way. I have an idea what your mind is thinking when you look at it. I'll bet it says something like "Wow, I wish I was there. That's so beautiful. Life would be better right now, if only I was there."

Well I'm here to say, it can't be better. Why? Because you are not there, you are here, reading this. Actually you can't be anywhere else in this moment of now. To say that the beach in this tropical paradise is better than where you are is simply not true. That is a mind trick. Your mind just thinks it is a better place to be. There's no guarantee you'll be happier there, and I'm sure your mind will find something to complain about once you actually are there. So if you continue to believe the lie your mind is telling you, you can't be happy in this moment or in the ones to follow. Not until you non-judgmentally see what your mind is doing. Which, generally, is off in some fantasy land in the future, or perhaps rehashing the past already gone by.

So what do you do? Nothing. Allow your mind to chatter, watch it yammer away, and don't fight it. You can't resist your mind, that's what it is designed to do. Let your mind be exactly as it is, let your thoughts be exactly as they are (Principle Three of Transformation), don't fight them. Whatever you are feeling around the chatter in your mind can complete itself.

Your life shows up as a moment of now, continuously. Either you can be there for it and pay attention, enjoy it and also be really efficient at whatever you're doing (that includes working at your job or even relaxing watching a movie), or you can be off thinking about where your life is or isn't. Are you really here? It's not the job position that you do or don't have, the acting role you do or don't have, the money you do or don't have, or the relationship you don't or do have. Your life is right now.

So right now as you're reading this post, this your life. It isn't somewhere else. It's here. Take a look at each word as you read it. Take a full breath in of the air where you are sitting reading this. Look up at the ceiling. Look at the walls. Notice the detail of the paint or any pattern on it. Really look and engage and you will get present. Just take your attention off yourself, forget about how you think things should be, and put it onto what is in front of you. It's really that simple to have your whole life transform before you.

You can live your life right now as if everything depends on it, as if it really matters. Whether you are washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, paying bills, working at your job, or taking care of your family--be there for it and you can enjoy it. You might be surprised by what shows up.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Enlightenment

2007-12-19T23:49:00.000-05:00

If you haven't seen the 2005 release of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" I highly recommend it. Now it's true that I am a sci-fi lover and I’m biased, but this movie is actually really fun. Sam Rockwell and Mos Def are awesome in it.

Why do I think this movie is enlightened? For one, the character of Ford Prefect (Mos Def) really lives in the moment. He is an experienced galactic hitchhiker, having traveled all over the universe. He is curious, kind, and always up for an adventure. He doesn't really get upset, he deals with what is happening in the moment, often up to the point of his near demise. He really is a very enlightened character in my eyes. Ford Prefect carries a book around called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" which is a manual to getting around the universe. Inscribed on the guide are the words "Don't Panic". At the beginning of the movie, just before the Earth is about to be destroyed, Ford Prefect grabs his friend Arthur Dent to have a couple pints of beer in the last 10 minutes of the Earth’s existence. He's telling people at the bar to drink up and enjoy because the Earth is about to be destroyed. (Actually this moment in the movie reminds me much of the Kane's article "How Sweet It Is", which is a piece about enjoying your life up until the last moment). No one believes him of course, until the aliens announce over a loudspeaker that the planet will be demolished because of the construction of the new intergalactic bypass that is being built. It's totally zany, see the movie and it will all make sense.

Another scene that I found hysterical was on the planet Vogon, where the group of travelers is attempting to rescue their friend from being put to death. Once they step onto the planet, these random spatulas come up from the ground and hit the travelers in the face. At first, they have no idea why and they keep getting whacked in the face. They soon learn that each time they think an idea or thought, the spatula comes up and smacks them in the face. Whack! Don't think! Whack! Whack! Whack! They just keep getting whacked, especially Artur Dent, as he thinks more than anyone else in the group. Artur is always lost in his thoughts and a step behind, often too timid to take action. Though his reserved nature does change throughout the movie, since he really doesn’t have a choice but to change on the wild galactic adventure he's been whisked away on. Hey, come to think of it, I've got a "transformational spatula" for you. Well not really a spatula it’s more like a gentle reminder. Each time you notice yourself drifting off into the oblivion of your thoughts just say to yourself "I'm back." And if you really do this, you might find yourself saying it quite often. It’s just a little nudge back into the moment to go along with the noticing of what’s happening. It’s really quite cool. I learned this from my friend Josh from a superb acting class he teaches, and it's an excellent tool to add to the skill set of being present.

One last thing…anything goes in the Hitchhiker universe. Really illustrating that point is the wonderful “Infinite Improbability Drive”. It's a one-of-a-kind drive on a spaceship where the most improbable of possibilities in the universe actually occur. Totally wacky stuff happens. I'll let you find out what that is by watching the movie, I've said too much already. I'd also like to think of the Infinite Improbability Drive renamed as the "Ultimate Possibility Drive". Where all of a sudden, things that your thought weren't possible are happening all around you.

So are you engaging in your life, paying attention to what's happening around you and going for it? Is your "Ultimate Possibility Drive" engaged, or are you listening to your thoughts and fueling your "Why I Can't or I Could Never Do That Engine"? The choice is yours!

As always, feel free to post comments on this entry or any others here on Bright-Eyed Life that you’ve enjoyed.

Starting the New Year Right 2008

2007-12-18T00:01:00.001-05:00

I'm very excited to say that "Starting the New Year Right" is coming on Wednesday, January 2nd. It's a a fun way to learn about Transformation and experience it for yourself first hand. You're invited to come join us in New York City for it. If you can't make it because your not in the New York area, then I recommend listening to some hi-fi podcasts or the Kane's radio show. It all contains great material on how to access the present moment and to have your life transform into possibilities that your mind can't even imagine.

Storybusting

2007-12-11T22:40:00.000-05:00

Transformation is a story-busting technology. What I mean by story is an idea of how I think things are or should be, when in reality it may not be the truth. Like a fairy tale, not based in reality. I'm shocked at how easily stories drop away when I feel my resistance to doing something, usually held in place by some old conversation about myself. What? You want examples? Why I'm glad you asked...

Two days ago, I was walking down the hall at work. I was in what I call "IT Mode", meaning I was in a focused and intense demeanor because I wanted to accomplish tasks on some of the Information Technology projects I'm involved with. There's also a certain disposition and energy I traditionally have with "IT Mode" which I'll explain. My story was that I needed to focus my energy, be intense, and that it was ok to be antisocial and ignore others around me to get things done efficiently. And this is a common behavior set for me when I get busy. So I was already getting well-settled into my automatic "IT Mode" of being intense and gruff, when all of a sudden I saw this old story rambling on in my mind. Somehow I've put it together that working hard and being sociable don't mix. It's either one or the other in this system. But that's simply not true. I know that it works to get things done, but if I don't see that it is just a story, all other possibilities for ways of working are cut off. I actually might accomplish as much or more, and with ease and effortlessness. So when I saw this happening, I just said out loud in the hall "hey, I can be social anytime I want" and started chuckling. Immediately I felt the intensity and weight drop away and my body lighten. The rest of the day, I accomplished just as much as I would have by being intense and focused, but I did my work with total ease. I also was kind and sociable with my co-workers and really took time for them. When they came to me with questions, I heard what they were saying, instead of trying to fill in what I thought they were going to say. Everything was smooth and effortless.

Second story-busted...I was lying on my couch this past evening, beating myself up for not working on one of my songs. What I'd call a mechanical "artist" behavior pattern. After all making music and being creative must be difficult and painful...right? Woe is me, I'm an artist and I must struggle. Wrong! Soon that story-busting Transformation came along. I was already well into my story as if I was my story...that I was too tired to accomplish anything, and that my songs aren't that good anyways and all sound the same, blah, blah, blah. Instantly, I was fully aware of this story, but listening to it as if I were an outside observer. I also could really feel the resistance in my body to working on music, and to be honest, resistance to doing anything in that moment. Something hit, I started listening non-judgmentally to my story. So after this literally 2 second process of seeing the story, feeling the resistance, I popped right up from my couch, set up my microphone and started recording acoustic guitar right into Pro Tools. Blam, bop, pow! Story busted, Batman!

And now I see that both stories are connected, things have to be a struggle in both of these stories to get anything accomplished. That's survival mode. Transformation has offered up totally new and alive possibilities. So it's really a combination of two access roads that I've been experiencing a lot lately. In combination it's really Principles One and Three of Transformation in action here. Feeling my resistance or whatever emotion or mood I'm experiencing (Not falling into Principle One-anything you resist persists, grows stronger and dominates your life), and listening to my mind chatter on, without judging it (Principle Three-anything you see exactly as it is, will complete itself) for doing what it does. I somehow get all giddy and find it hilarious that it can be that easy. It really is magic.

So there's the possibility, with Transformation ten seconds ago you can be lost in a story of complaint and resistance, and ten seconds later I'm there doing exactly what I want, just by seeing what is, and the story drops away. Without having to do anything. Transformation Rocks And so does James Brown...so check out an awesome live performance of Good Foot. Funky.

Haiku by Ryan

2007-12-05T21:56:00.000-05:00

My friend Ryan wrote this beautiful Haiku inspired by Transformation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

"Windblown blossoms pass
Like moments through Life's hourglass
They are all perfect"

-Ryan Martin

Transformation and The Christmas Tree

2007-12-03T23:50:00.001-05:00

I moved to New York City seven years ago from my home state of Colorado. When I first arrived, I was excited and also scared out of my mind. I didn't have a job and I didn't know how I was going to pay $1100 in rent for a tiny apartment in Chelsea. I was hitting the subways every day in a suit going around on job interviews. Within two weeks I had a job working at a small PR firm in the city. I'm still very proud of how quickly I found a job, I must admit. But needless to say I was a Rocky Mountain boy in the Big Apple, everything was confusing, strange and it was pretty lonely, as I didn't have any friends here.

But come a year later, I was starting to set into a groove. I got a new job working in the technology department at a law firm in Rockefeller Center, moved to a bigger and more affordable place in Astoria, started having girlfriends again and found a group of friends to hang out with. Things went from me almost moving back to Colorado to going very well. But then "normal" life set in again. A life filled with complaint and self-made hardship. Have you ever noticed how when things get good, you find ways to make them not so good? And it usually appears via complaining about the "difficulties" in life and how the world sucks. It's like a self-sabotage.

What I’ve learned from Ariel & Shya Kane is that this sabotaging-type behavior is purely a survival mechanism. Our family lines are based on survival, overcoming hardships through the ages. It's in our blood and wired in our genetics. But we don't need to survive like that anymore, and it can be unwired. Food is easily accessible, as is shelter, transportation, you name it. But since the mechanism of survival is automatic and mechanical, we slot situations in our lives into this natural but old mechanism. That's not to say that difficult situations don't arise, but by living mechanically we often make things much more challenging and complicated than they have to be...we resist what is in our lives. So how do you free yourself from the survival mechanism when it's not appropriate? Well, that's where Transformation comes in and alleviates the automatic nature of the survival mechanism. By seeing and examining what's happening in your life, without judgment, those survival behaviors can be unwired in an instant. You can be free from those behaviors in the moment you see them and step into enlightenment. You can enjoy where you are at, and what you have without trying to enjoy it. It brings things into thriving rather than bouncing in and out of surviving.

So after several years of living in New York, I found myself becoming a New Yorker. Or rather my idea of what a New Yorker should be like. I started to become jaded. I'd see slow-moving, wide-eyed tourists and quickly walk by them, scoffing and rolling my eyes because they were "in my way". After all it's the New York thing to do, and what I thought was the cool thing to do. It became a set groove in the recording of my life at the time. I'd even go back to Colorado and brag about how big, cool and metropolitan New York was. Yeah, I'm sure my friends really loved that. Back then, whenever Christmas time arrived in New York, it was the most annoying time of year for me. All I could see was all of the marketing of Christmas in the area, and those "annoying" tourists who swarm about to see the great Christmas tree in front of Rockefeller plaza. I was a real Scrooge, or imagine Scrooge at 27 years old. I'm laughing at myself just thinking about it. Of course, this was all prior to finding Transformation.

I've been attending Transformation workshops for about a year and a half now. One day this past year I was walking around at lunch one day by myself. Suddenly, I saw the mechanics of my jaded mood. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't even trying to change anything or do anything with my mood. I was simply present and engaged, checking out all the beautiful architecture of the buildings of Rockefeller Center. I saw all these tourists, people from all over the world, who came to see right where I worked! How awesome, I thought. People come from the four corners of Earth to see this place I go to everyday, to enjoy it, and here I was complaining about it all the time. I spent all those years and years complaining, being bitter and jaded, and all of a sudden it was all gone. Bye, bye. It was truly a transformational moment in my life and still is. Instead of a huge having a complaint festival everyday, I now look up and around every day, really breathe in the air outside. I see how wonderful it is to work in my area, and I really enjoy all those people who are enjoying it with me.

So tonight before going to help with the Monday Night Alive setup team, I walked out of where I work at Rockefeller Plaza and saw the lovely Christmas tree right in front of the ice skating rink. As I looked up I slowed and looked around at all the people. There were groups of smiling and happy tourists. And lots of fast walking, hard-faced New Yorkers, too. I smiled as those New Yorkers now reminded me of me. Actually I'm more of a New Yorker than ever. and I'm more myself than ever, too. I looked up at the tree and noticed how piercingly radiant the lights were on the tree, especially the cobalt blue colored bulbs. I took a few minutes to just enjoy the tree, the air, and all the people from all over the world visiting Rockefeller and the Christmas tree. It’s just more icing on the cake of Transformation and enlightenment.

With Transformation, you can always be a tourist in your life, looking with wonder and awe every day at whatever life brings your way. It's magic. And if it's not for you then hey, I guess it just isn't. But if you're interested in attending a workshop, I highly recommend the upcoming Passion: Revitalize Your Life workshop in January. It will be nothing less than spectacular.

Just Being There

2007-11-10T15:32:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

I'm really proud to share this with you. My dad shared this very inspirational and transformational story with me in response to my last post. I'm really touched by what he wrote, and he's given me permission to share it with you. I hope you all enjoy it just as much as I have. Pops, thanks so much for sharing this. I am very glad you are my dad.

Love,
David

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A couple of days ago a situation occurred that I think applies to your latest blog:

I was in a hurry to get to the Mountain Music guitar shop so that I could drop off a guitar for restringing. I found a parking space in back of the row of shops on south College and struggled to find a way to get to the shop. Finally, I found an alley that led me through to College Avenue. Once in the guitar shop, which was very small, I noticed there was a lot of activity. Someone was playing a guitar, an older gentleman and his daughter were just leaving, and finally, a lady was waiting to talk to the owner regarding repair and restringing of two guitars for her sons. She stated that wanted to get them fixed so that her sons could start lessons the very next day. As I saw this scenario unfold, I realized that it was going to take some time, and I had a decision to make. I could butt in and try to get the owner to take the order, I could leave and come back later, or I could sit down and wait my turn. I decided on the last alternative and was glad I did. As I made the decision I stopped hurrying and came into the present.

I simply watched the interaction between the proprietor and the lady. The lady had two guitars, both acoustic: one set up for nylon strings and the other set up for steel strings. The proprietor carefully looked over both guitars. He said that the nylon stringed guitar was fine but the steel stringed was in bad shape. To further complicate matters, she said that her eldest son really wanted to learn to play an electric guitar. Also, she wanted to have her younger son also take lessons, hence the need for both guitars. The lady was in a bind, she had the two guitars, one good the other no good, but neither was an electric. She asked lots of good questions about the difference between the types of guitars. Also she asked if learning on these different guitars was transferable between the types. As the conversation went on, it became apparent the she did not want to buy a new guitar of either type. The proprietor tried to explain the differences and the similarities. In addition he stated that he had serious problems with restringing the steel stringed guitar and refused to restring it for her. The interaction between the two of them was fascinating. Both were sincere in their efforts to gain acceptance for their individual positions. She was intent on getting her sons satisfaction in obtaining lessons, and he maintaining his principles for not stringing a guitar that was, essentially, not playable.

By letting go and being there, I was able to understand the essence of the interaction. By being there I did not interfere with their interaction in a negative way. While both of them knew that I was there with them, they seemed not to be inhibited by it.

They continued to talk about the differences between the types of guitars. All the while that the two of them were discussing the situation, the other person continued to play various guitars. Apparently he was trying them out for potential purchase. The proprietor approached the man, who happened to playing a steel stringed guitar at the time, and asked him to demonstrate the difference in tone between the two types by playing the woman’s nylon stringed guitar. As he did so and the attention shifted to his playing, it seemed natural for me to call the proprietor aside to have him take my order for restringing of the guitar I had brought. We did our business and I left the shop.

I don’t know how it turned out since I left before the discussion was resolved. I do know that by being present, I took a situation that could have been irritating and frustrating and made it into a time of calmness and understanding. I may or may not ask the proprietor what happened after I left.

-Dad

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What? I Don't Have to Do Anything?

2007-11-06T08:03:00.000-05:00

Something popped in me yesterday, in a way I hadn't experienced before. I was going to lunch with a colleague of mine. As we were walking and talking, we were joking around about various things. Now I have the tendency at times to be a real joker, and can really go over the edge if I want to. So we arrived at this lunch spot called Digby's on 51st street to grab our overly-priced but tasty burritos. I started to make joking comments all over the place and I was getting on a roll. But something didn't feel quite right. It felt like way too much. It felt way over the top of who I was in that moment.

And don't get me wrong, I love joking around. But in that particular moment, it didn't feel like the appropriate place to be in our conversation. I was really dominating the conversation and our walk together with my jokes. So as we were walking back to Rockefeller plaza, I really could feel that something wasn't aligned within me. I could feel an anxiousness pulling me into an automatic way of joking, building into this giddy, uncomfortable energy. But then I saw it. I saw my automatic behavior. So I immediately stopped the joking around in the next lull in our conversation. And then, BAM!, I popped into the moment and became fully present. Just by seeing non-judgmentally what was going on with me. My enjoyment of where I was suddenly expanded a hundred-fold. I could feel and sense everything around me so much more, taking in the entire atmosphere. It was a delight to walk with my colleague through the Chase bank, a shortcut we often take to get to and from lunch spots on 51st street. It suddenly became an enlightening experience as we walked through the outdoor promenade by all the circular benches of people, as they sat and ate their lunches. I have walked through this area hundreds of times before, but this time was different because I had shifted in my way of being. I was no longer engaged in automatic, approval seeking behavior just to get someone to like me.

So what I had experienced was this clear line between being and doing. And in this case it manifested in that I often feel I have to "do" something in order to be valuable company to others, instead just being there with them. As if I have to bring some sort of value, by being funny, smart, witty or effective in some way; otherwise, people won't like me. What I saw was that I've been missing the fact that people might like me just because of who I am being, without doing anything; just by standing there, listening and being attentive. Not by putting on some kind of show. Being in the Transformation community has really helped me to see this, because the folks there have learned to see people for who they are, not what they can do. They aren't ahead of themselves, running towards a future agenda they have, or milling back into the past reliving life already gone by. They are present, attentive, caring and bright-eyed. For most of my life, it wasn't even within my reality to just "be" without doing something to prove my worth. Even when people said they just liked me for no particular reason at all. I wouldn't allow myself to believe it to be true. I'd be like "why would they like me for no reason? I haven't done anything for them to like me." It always felt like a lie in some way. It's so refreshing to see this from a new place.

It makes me wonder when I decided to live my life out of that conversation. Maybe it was in high school. Maybe it was when I worked in the music industry. Maybe after living in New York City for a few years. Who knows? I could blame it on many things, and believe the story of "why", allowing it to have power over me and my life. So I won't do that. The simple seeing of my automatic joking behavior allowed me to choose in the moment of whether to continue the mechanics, or just be there where I was.

So here's to being here in this moment of now and living a transformational lifestyle.

Keep Going For It...Your Life, That Is

2007-11-02T14:24:00.001-04:00

Last week I caught a strong cold/flu/stomach virus. Lots of people here in New York have been getting ill; a funky bug has been going around. Now it would be easy for me go into a story about how sick I am and play out the drama of my "sick story" to get attention. A little bit of that story was happening, but much less than before, especially since I was introduced to Transformation. I think it's appropriate to list some signs of Transformation, which include:

1) Not being offended when people say things like "Ooooooh, you're sick...yuck! Get away from me". I've been acknowledging that they are justified and even forewarn them about that fact that I'm sick. I don't view it as them not caring about me. I just allow them to be who they are and see that they have a valid point.

2) Not resisting the fact that I'm sick, like when others give me advice, offer remedies like Airborne, or offer to bring me things.

3) Letting others help me and when they offer help, not trying to show that I'm strong, independent and of an I-don't-need-your-help attitude. If I let them take care of me, it's win-win. Both they and I can be alive, instead of win-lose where I get to be right, and make them wrong for trying to take care of such an "independent guy."

4) Not going into the "poor me" story to gain attention, not lashing out at people with comments and using the shield of sickness as justification for being blunt towards others.

While I was sick, I was watching a bad-ass TV show from Netflix online called "Heroes" , and I'm loving it. I don't have TV so you may already watch it, but I rely on Netflix for my viewing pleasure. It's pretty interesting to watch people on the show struggle with the past and future. I wonder if they knew about Transformation if it'd even matter? It's a great show nonetheless, really a blast to watch.

I had a conference call scheduled last week for a blog project around Transformation. Two people said they were canceling and I got really offended at this. Actually, I'll say it the more empowered way...I offended myself with it. I started to tell myself how "they don't care" or that "I've done something wrong" or "I'm not a good leader" etc, etc.

I was about to cancel the call, even though four other team members would be on it with me. Actually one of the two said they might not make it or would join later on. They showed up on time for the call! So all in all six out of seven showed up. But I only listened that they weren't coming....my mind filtered out the truth to fit the agenda of the story I was telling myself, about not being good enough.

Then I started thinking "I'm too sick to lead this call", and I was going to use that as an excuse to not do it. My mind was reaching for any reason it could - building upon each previous one - to continue this untrue story. Until the quiet voice spoke up. I'd also call it the intuitive voice, when it chooses to speak in words. When this intuitive/quiet voice speaks I actually feel it come from a different place in my body, more in my torso close to my center, instead of in my upper chest and head, which is where the loud and righteous voice resides for me.

I learned about this from Ariel & Shya who talk about these "voices in your head." No, no...not crazy voices. You know them....one voice says things loudly, casts judgments, tells you what you like, what you don't like, rewards you for the things you've done, punishes you for what you haven't. If you don't know what I'm talking about try an experiment, just sit in silence for 10 seconds and listen. Listen to what you ask? If you find yourself saying "I don't hear anything" "Listen to what" "he's crazy" then that's the voice I'm talking about! You'll hear it. The loud voice is all those thoughts we've learned of what should or shouldn't be. Well amongst all of these loud conversations, the quiet voice cut through it all and said "keep going for it." It said "don't let it bring you down or kill your enthusiasm, don't let it make you small."

I simply stayed with what I felt, allowed myself to be upset that people said they were canceling on the call, and didn't judge what I felt or assign reasons to why they aren't showing up. I had resisted my upset at first and thus all those conversations happened. That's an example of the First Principle of Transformation: what you resist, persists, grows stronger, and dominates your life. Then I just allowed it to be. The trick is though not to "allow it to be" with an agenda of getting rid of it. This is the Third Principle of Transformation, allow something to be exactly as it is and it will complete itself. Just feel it to feel it, to see what the experience is like, and it will dissolve itself. Very zen, and still difficult for me at times, though I'm getting much more skilled at it. And it works! And to help here's an article written by The Kanes on the Principles of Transformation.

So keep going for it, no matter how you feel. Just feel it, don't judge it and it will dissolve. Resist it, try to make it different and it will stay with you. You can use all sorts of techniques to try to get rid of what you are feeling, or diminish it, but no matter how small you make it, the feeling will still be there underneath it all. That's just another form of putting your attention on yourself, instead putting it out to the world, on what's happening around you and in your life. After all, they're just feelings and they come and go like the tides of the ocean. Keep going for your life and things will unfold naturally and easily. Cheers.

Being Here is Out!

2007-10-23T21:18:00.000-04:00

The new book written by The Kanes is out. It's entitled "Being Here: Modern day Tales of Enlightenment", and it is an amazing set of stories from the lives of people who have experienced Transformation. A truly wonderful book. I've posted below a letter from my friend Valerie who talks about a special promotion for the new book. I suggest you take advantage of it and get yourself a copy, and you can get some holiday shopping done at the same time!

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Friends Around the World,

In following with Ariel & Shya's inspiring emails earlier this week
about their dream & the dreams of those in our community, I'd like to
tell you about an opportunity that will support the dream of sharing
the possibility of Instantaneous Transformation in becoming a reality.
The Kanes' most recent book, "Being Here, Modern Day Tales of
Enlightenment," was released to the public in September and is now
available in local and online bookstores (David Hamilton even spotted a
copy in the Barnes & Noble in Chelsea in NYC!). One of my dreams is to
have this book hit best seller lists and gain national & international
attention so that people across the planet can have access to the magic
& possibilities of transformation.

We are doing a promotion to have"Being Here, Modern Day Tales of
Enlightenment" become abestseller on Amazon.com to introduce as many
people as possible to Ariel & Shya’s work. Here's how it works: during
the course of one day (November 7th, for our promotion), the goal is to
have as many people as possible purchase the book on Amazon.com to
launch it to bestseller status. As an incentive to buy the book during
this 24-hour period, we are offering free bonus gifts. We are
advertising the promotion in Wisdom magazine, on SelfGrowth.com and in
other places on the web.

To have this promotion be a success, we need all of your support!

Here's how you can help:

1. Purchase 1 book on November 7th (only $10.36 on Amazon.com)and
receive the new audio version of "Being Here" (read by Ariel), as well
as other special podcasts (for free!).

2. Purchase 5 or more books on November 7th and receive not only the
above gifts, but ALSO a free admission to 1 Monday Night Alive! (or
Starting the New Year Right evening or International Conference Call).

2a. Purchase more than 5 books on November 7th! Many of you generously
supported the successful promotion we did last year to launch "How to
Create a Magical Relationship" to bestseller status on Amazon.com by
purchasing 25+ books....feel free to do the same this year! Imagine
all of the holiday shopping you'll get done in one shot. Also, I have
found it really valuable over the last year to have books on hand to
give people as gifts (teachers, business contacts, friends, family,
fire houses, acquaintances, etc.)....you never know who you're going to
meet. Also, I now see Starbucks with libraries (as well as fitness
rooms, churches, high schools, colleges, yoga centers, community
centers)...they all take donations.

3. Tell everyone you know about this promotion! It's a great and easy
way to introduce people to the Kanes' work and the revolutionary and
liberating idea that "working on yourself doesn't work." I'm going to
send emails out and tell people in person about the promotion, but if
you have a blog, email newsletter or website, include this info there,
too. Fernanda is creating a flyer that I will email out shortly with
all of the info that you can forward via email, print or post on your
website or blog for download.

4. We are looking for someone (or someones) in the NY/NJ/CT area to
warehouse / receive books for people in Europe who want to purchase
books to help drive "Being Here" to #1 on Amazon.com, but don't want to
pay the high shipping prices. Then we will coordinate getting the
books to the people who bought them - bringing them to Costa Rica,
giving them to Europeans who come to NY to take workshops, etc. Any
takers? Please write me back to let me know if you're interested.

All of the details for the promotion are here:

http://www.ask-inc.com/specialoffer/

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me!If you feel
to participate and buy books, GREAT!! Please write me back to let me
know how many you will be ordering.

Whetheryou choose to participate in this promotion or not, keep
sharing yourself and transformation. You make a difference.

Love,
Val

Trusting Your Intuition, Especially When it Comes to Dating

2007-10-16T23:54:00.003-04:00

I've been out on quite a few dates in the past month. Some women I've met through friends, some I've met online and some I met out and about. What's funny is how much I've let my mind push me into doing things my intuition knows is not in my best interests. My mind says loudly "you should go out with her, she's hot (aka physically attractive)." Or it says "maybe she'll open up later and be more fun." Or any number of things. If my intuition would speak it would say "there is no connection here, this isn't working, not fulfilling." So when I listen to my mind and thoughts instead of my intuition, things are based in change, more difficult and strenuous. Like an always uphill battle. It's really about letting go control. Just like I'm finding with singing. And it's making things a hell-of-a-lot easier.

My intuition sometimes speaks in what Ariel & Shya Kane term the quiet voice, but more often for me it feels a certain way in my body. It's no joke that it's called it a gut feeling, because that's where it is often felt. Though intuition comes in many different forms and people have different experiences of it. Sometimes when I stop to ask myself a question (usually when I'm listening to the garbage in my mind) like "what do I want for lunch, what should I be doing next here at work", I will feel into my gut. A "Yes" answer feels connected, whole and complete, almost heavy in my belly. A"No" answer feels disconnected, I feel light in my stomach not solid, like a tumbling feeling.

What I've been experiencing in a very strong way is that as I follow my intuitive sense, life just flows easily from moment to moment. Not only that, but my intuition gets stronger and sharper, thus making my life even easier and more effortless. It has a tumbling, exponential effect. This isn't a formula for intuition by any means, because intuition has no formula, just like being enlightened has no formula. It's just what I've been noticing like an anthropologist. So please don't try and turn it into a formula or a belief, because you will be doing a disservice to yourself!

A perfect example of listening to your intuition in terms of dating is when Shya Kane was speaking to someone who was feeling bad about not dating, because of the way she acted around a very handsome actor she was in the presence of. He said something to the effect of "ever think that you're being shy was actually your intuition shying you away from this person, who you knew wasn't good for you? That you know information that you can take-in that is beyond what your mind can see." That's exactly what's been happening to me lately with dating. I keep trying to force myself to connect so I can fulfill my agenda, which might be attention, sex, etc. And in the end, it isn't fulfilling; I'd rather be working with technology, playing music, socializing with friends, or hanging with someone I have a connection with.

So here I sit here at home with Washburn acoustic in hand while I type this, tightening up lyrics on and rehearsing some songs. I had a great voice lesson tonight too, working on Stevie Wonder's "As". What a song! My teacher knows really how to connect a voice to a body, super-intuitive. Having a blast. :)

Foot on the Brake, Foot on the Gas

2007-10-02T07:57:00.006-04:00

At this past week's Monday Night Alive, a successful young actor in the group began to speak about how when he gets a new acting job, he "puts his foot on the brake" in order to balance his life out. And if I remember correctly, sort of as a reward to relax for having gotten a solid job. Ariel & Shya told him how that's the point in the time when he should be putting his "foot on the gas" and not on the brake. He should line-up a new job for after his run of shows. The Kanes then asked "how good are you willing to let it get?" Meaning how successful will you allow yourself to be, without dimming yourself down to fit in with others? To allow yourself to shine brightly, regardless of those who might try to bring you down, because they are jealous, competing, or afraid that you will leave them behind. This is why a support system of those who can be honest with you about how you are being, and are there to really support you when others might aid you in diminishing in your greatness, though they don't do it intentionally. I love the phrase "you can't do it alone." Boy, how I do wish I that I could do it all on my own. I naturally want to be independent and do it all by myself. Thing is that is a lonely way to live I'm finding. It's easier and more fulfilling to allow myself to be supported, and to support others. It makes things feel effortless.

I find for myself that I'm busier and ever but life is taking on this zen-like quality...work is very busy with many projects, I'm taking voice and acting classes, getting my songs up to speed to perform, writing this blog and managing a group Transformation blog, I'm revamping my apartment with new furniture and paint, and my social and dating life is as active as ever. In the past, I would have reasoned-out that I need time to relax, and balance-out my activity. But now that I've been learning from Transformation that one you start going for your life, you can't stop. I mean you can, but you'll lose momentum. You have to use that momentum to keep going and going more! I remember my uncle once saying that "the idea of balance is bullshit" I can agree in most cases. We think we are capable of doing of only doing so much, so we relax. We get wasted, do drugs, and hang around people who aren't supportive to dim ourselves down. It's a concept that didn't make sense to me at first, but now I can really feel it. Once I leap, I have to keep leaping, to stay on the edge of my life and really keep going for it.

So lately I've been noticing that when I accomplish a lot at work, at home or with songwriting I naturally will start to feel as if I need time to "chill out, relax and balance things out". But I am seeing that this is a form of putting my foot on the brake. Instead of resisting the feeling of wanting to slow down I see it as a signal. It's a signal that now's the time to put my foot on the gas; to complete my work project with greatness; to revamp my apartment with new paint, furniture and a new arrangement; to finish a set of songs so I can start playing out as soon as I can.

It's important to note that I'm not making a rule about balance or always going for it. At times it very well may be important to relax and tend to balance. But with me in the last month, I can intuitively feel that the foot must go on the gas, that I must keep going for my life. Didn't you know that your time is short here? Easy to forget especially if we're lost in the drama of our own lives, stories in our minds about what we can and can't do, and not being present to what's happening right in front of us and what we are doing. Yoda from Star Wars has said it so well: "All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing."

So where is your attention right now? On yourself, on the future, or on the present and on what you are doing? I ask myself that all the time when I find myself drifting away, into fantasyland.

Until Transformation, I had always heard about the concept of people dimming down their own success, but it was just a set of words. And I certainly didn't see how I could dim myself down to hinder success. I'm just starting to see this latter point. After all I was brought up with the phrase "moderation in all things." Which isn't a bad phrase and isn't it wrong by any means, some things I may need to moderate. It's just that it has its limits if I live by it as a rule in any situation.

So go for it, keep going, don't stop. Life only gets more magical when you live this way.

A Seamless Life

2007-09-29T14:19:00.001-04:00

It's a beautiful Saturday here in New York City. I am working from home doing project management tasks, watching my favorite Soul, Funk and Hip-hop videos on You Tube, working on songs, vocals and chatting to friends. Just having a blast. Also looking to re-vamp my apt with some new furniture and colors. Everything is flowing seamlessly, a true after effect of being present and following the moment.

Earlier this morning when my mind started to complain about running errands like getting my dry cleaning, buying coconut oil for my favorite protein shake recipe and picking up hand soap, I just said "huh, look at me complaining, they're just thoughts that actually aren't me". And each time I started to complain that "I don't want to run errands now”, I just noticed again and the thoughts flowing by, and things got easier and easier. I enjoyed carrying my colorful, striped work shirts down the streets of Astoria from the dry cleaners, noticing how nice they were. I really loved going to the small deli getting a buttered roll and cappuccino because my intuition told me to do so.

This is becoming a regular way of living via the Transformational skill set that The Kanes talk about. The "Living A Magical Life" course has definitely already been taking effect since I signed up. Living is becoming more and more seamless. The division is blurring between me being a systems administrator at a law firm, and a singer/songwriter and performer. I am proud to be both and enjoy them both. It's funny how some days one will weigh over the other, which is just a signal to me that my mind is judging one as better, more secure, more fulfilling, cooler, etc, over the other. It's really cool to notice that my believing of my mind's programmed judgments is a signal that I'm listening to garbage, and not being present. All it takes is seeing that and "I'm back."

Thursday I had my first class of Committed Impulse with Josh Pais and it was awesome. It is an acting class at its root, but is heavily based on Transformation so it is all about being present. I'm still physically sore from it, as I haven't worked out in over a year; it has come at a perfect time as a reminder that I need to get back on my fitness. One really cool thing that Josh asks us to do in class: when we drift into our thoughts and go away and notice that we've gone away, to simply bring ourselves back to present and say out loud the phrase "I'm back." It is amazing how many times we all say it through a given evening, how much the mind wanders away back to the past, ahead to the future or into fantasyland. But all it takes is a simple noticing, taking your attention off or your internal conversation and into what's in front of you, or to the person that is speaking, and breathe.

And now for a musical note...videos I've been enjoying today on YouTube:

"Golden" by Jill Scott
"Dumb It Down" by Lupe Fiasco
"Gimme the Night" by George Benson
"You Got Me" by the Roots

As always, enjoy yourself.

Finding Passion

2007-09-21T08:37:00.002-04:00

Two things y'all.

First is a favorite new song for me from Seal called "Human Beings". He sings with such passion and self-expression that he is a singer I truly admire, and I think it is really apparent in this song.

Second thing is a great podcast that really hits home for me. Ariel & Shya talk with Lenore about how to find her passion, and also about the way in which artists often impede themselves in their own lives with a very particular conversation. The conversation goes something like this.... "But I shouldn't have to work, I'm an artist!" Living in this conversation is a sure way not to be present, and certainly never a way to be happy as someone who does any kind of artistic endeavor. Being and artist with your life with whatever you are doing, wherever you are. All it takes is simple and full engagement in whatever you are doing, to come back to present, and to an enlightened way of being. It's so much easier than I ever imagined, once the judgments about myself and others drop, and I enjoy the moment wherever I am.

Listen to the Podcast on Finding Passion.

A Beautiful Day

2007-09-12T21:23:00.000-04:00

To me, this song is all about enlightenment. Just listen to the lyrics. U2 performing "Beautiful Day" at Live 8 in Hyde Park, London. I hope you enjoy it. I did. :)

"What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day"

Watch it here.

Lake Tahoe Pictures - August 2007

2007-09-11T23:58:00.001-04:00

Here’s a nice set pictures from my Lake Tahoe vacation with my mom, dad, aunt and uncle this past August. Enjoy the scenery of the Lake in the Sky and the great people in my family. You can find them here. It truly is majestic and magical place and I'm lucky to have grown up visiting year after year. I look forward to next year! So if you haven't gone to visit the Lake in the Sky yet, go already then! If these pictures can't convince you I don't know what will. :)