Keep Going For It...Your Life, That Is

Last week I caught a strong cold/flu/stomach virus. Lots of people here in New York have been getting ill; a funky bug has been going around. Now it would be easy for me go into a story about how sick I am and play out the drama of my "sick story" to get attention. A little bit of that story was happening, but much less than before, especially since I was introduced to Transformation. I think it's appropriate to list some signs of Transformation, which include:

1) Not being offended when people say things like "Ooooooh, you're sick...yuck! Get away from me". I've been acknowledging that they are justified and even forewarn them about that fact that I'm sick. I don't view it as them not caring about me. I just allow them to be who they are and see that they have a valid point.

2) Not resisting the fact that I'm sick, like when others give me advice, offer remedies like Airborne, or offer to bring me things.

3) Letting others help me and when they offer help, not trying to show that I'm strong, independent and of an I-don't-need-your-help attitude. If I let them take care of me, it's win-win. Both they and I can be alive, instead of win-lose where I get to be right, and make them wrong for trying to take care of such an "independent guy."

4) Not going into the "poor me" story to gain attention, not lashing out at people with comments and using the shield of sickness as justification for being blunt towards others.

While I was sick, I was watching a bad-ass TV show from Netflix online called "Heroes" , and I'm loving it. I don't have TV so you may already watch it, but I rely on Netflix for my viewing pleasure. It's pretty interesting to watch people on the show struggle with the past and future. I wonder if they knew about Transformation if it'd even matter? It's a great show nonetheless, really a blast to watch.

I had a conference call scheduled last week for a blog project around Transformation. Two people said they were canceling and I got really offended at this. Actually, I'll say it the more empowered way...I offended myself with it. I started to tell myself how "they don't care" or that "I've done something wrong" or "I'm not a good leader" etc, etc.

I was about to cancel the call, even though four other team members would be on it with me. Actually one of the two said they might not make it or would join later on. They showed up on time for the call! So all in all six out of seven showed up. But I only listened that they weren't coming....my mind filtered out the truth to fit the agenda of the story I was telling myself, about not being good enough.

Then I started thinking "I'm too sick to lead this call", and I was going to use that as an excuse to not do it. My mind was reaching for any reason it could - building upon each previous one - to continue this untrue story. Until the quiet voice spoke up. I'd also call it the intuitive voice, when it chooses to speak in words. When this intuitive/quiet voice speaks I actually feel it come from a different place in my body, more in my torso close to my center, instead of in my upper chest and head, which is where the loud and righteous voice resides for me.

I learned about this from Ariel & Shya who talk about these "voices in your head." No, no...not crazy voices. You know them....one voice says things loudly, casts judgments, tells you what you like, what you don't like, rewards you for the things you've done, punishes you for what you haven't. If you don't know what I'm talking about try an experiment, just sit in silence for 10 seconds and listen. Listen to what you ask? If you find yourself saying "I don't hear anything" "Listen to what" "he's crazy" then that's the voice I'm talking about! You'll hear it. The loud voice is all those thoughts we've learned of what should or shouldn't be. Well amongst all of these loud conversations, the quiet voice cut through it all and said "keep going for it." It said "don't let it bring you down or kill your enthusiasm, don't let it make you small."

I simply stayed with what I felt, allowed myself to be upset that people said they were canceling on the call, and didn't judge what I felt or assign reasons to why they aren't showing up. I had resisted my upset at first and thus all those conversations happened. That's an example of the First Principle of Transformation: what you resist, persists, grows stronger, and dominates your life. Then I just allowed it to be. The trick is though not to "allow it to be" with an agenda of getting rid of it. This is the Third Principle of Transformation, allow something to be exactly as it is and it will complete itself. Just feel it to feel it, to see what the experience is like, and it will dissolve itself. Very zen, and still difficult for me at times, though I'm getting much more skilled at it. And it works! And to help here's an article written by The Kanes on the Principles of Transformation.

So keep going for it, no matter how you feel. Just feel it, don't judge it and it will dissolve. Resist it, try to make it different and it will stay with you. You can use all sorts of techniques to try to get rid of what you are feeling, or diminish it, but no matter how small you make it, the feeling will still be there underneath it all. That's just another form of putting your attention on yourself, instead putting it out to the world, on what's happening around you and in your life. After all, they're just feelings and they come and go like the tides of the ocean. Keep going for your life and things will unfold naturally and easily. Cheers.