Foot on the Brake, Foot on the Gas

At this past week's Monday Night Alive, a successful young actor in the group began to speak about how when he gets a new acting job, he "puts his foot on the brake" in order to balance his life out. And if I remember correctly, sort of as a reward to relax for having gotten a solid job. Ariel & Shya told him how that's the point in the time when he should be putting his "foot on the gas" and not on the brake. He should line-up a new job for after his run of shows. The Kanes then asked "how good are you willing to let it get?" Meaning how successful will you allow yourself to be, without dimming yourself down to fit in with others? To allow yourself to shine brightly, regardless of those who might try to bring you down, because they are jealous, competing, or afraid that you will leave them behind. This is why a support system of those who can be honest with you about how you are being, and are there to really support you when others might aid you in diminishing in your greatness, though they don't do it intentionally. I love the phrase "you can't do it alone." Boy, how I do wish I that I could do it all on my own. I naturally want to be independent and do it all by myself. Thing is that is a lonely way to live I'm finding. It's easier and more fulfilling to allow myself to be supported, and to support others. It makes things feel effortless.

I find for myself that I'm busier and ever but life is taking on this zen-like quality...work is very busy with many projects, I'm taking voice and acting classes, getting my songs up to speed to perform, writing this blog and managing a group Transformation blog, I'm revamping my apartment with new furniture and paint, and my social and dating life is as active as ever. In the past, I would have reasoned-out that I need time to relax, and balance-out my activity. But now that I've been learning from Transformation that one you start going for your life, you can't stop. I mean you can, but you'll lose momentum. You have to use that momentum to keep going and going more! I remember my uncle once saying that "the idea of balance is bullshit" I can agree in most cases. We think we are capable of doing of only doing so much, so we relax. We get wasted, do drugs, and hang around people who aren't supportive to dim ourselves down. It's a concept that didn't make sense to me at first, but now I can really feel it. Once I leap, I have to keep leaping, to stay on the edge of my life and really keep going for it.

So lately I've been noticing that when I accomplish a lot at work, at home or with songwriting I naturally will start to feel as if I need time to "chill out, relax and balance things out". But I am seeing that this is a form of putting my foot on the brake. Instead of resisting the feeling of wanting to slow down I see it as a signal. It's a signal that now's the time to put my foot on the gas; to complete my work project with greatness; to revamp my apartment with new paint, furniture and a new arrangement; to finish a set of songs so I can start playing out as soon as I can.

It's important to note that I'm not making a rule about balance or always going for it. At times it very well may be important to relax and tend to balance. But with me in the last month, I can intuitively feel that the foot must go on the gas, that I must keep going for my life. Didn't you know that your time is short here? Easy to forget especially if we're lost in the drama of our own lives, stories in our minds about what we can and can't do, and not being present to what's happening right in front of us and what we are doing. Yoda from Star Wars has said it so well: "All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing."

So where is your attention right now? On yourself, on the future, or on the present and on what you are doing? I ask myself that all the time when I find myself drifting away, into fantasyland.

Until Transformation, I had always heard about the concept of people dimming down their own success, but it was just a set of words. And I certainly didn't see how I could dim myself down to hinder success. I'm just starting to see this latter point. After all I was brought up with the phrase "moderation in all things." Which isn't a bad phrase and isn't it wrong by any means, some things I may need to moderate. It's just that it has its limits if I live by it as a rule in any situation.

So go for it, keep going, don't stop. Life only gets more magical when you live this way.

A Seamless Life

It's a beautiful Saturday here in New York City. I am working from home doing project management tasks, watching my favorite Soul, Funk and Hip-hop videos on You Tube, working on songs, vocals and chatting to friends. Just having a blast. Also looking to re-vamp my apt with some new furniture and colors. Everything is flowing seamlessly, a true after effect of being present and following the moment.

Earlier this morning when my mind started to complain about running errands like getting my dry cleaning, buying coconut oil for my favorite protein shake recipe and picking up hand soap, I just said "huh, look at me complaining, they're just thoughts that actually aren't me". And each time I started to complain that "I don't want to run errands now”, I just noticed again and the thoughts flowing by, and things got easier and easier. I enjoyed carrying my colorful, striped work shirts down the streets of Astoria from the dry cleaners, noticing how nice they were. I really loved going to the small deli getting a buttered roll and cappuccino because my intuition told me to do so.

This is becoming a regular way of living via the Transformational skill set that The Kanes talk about. The "Living A Magical Life" course has definitely already been taking effect since I signed up. Living is becoming more and more seamless. The division is blurring between me being a systems administrator at a law firm, and a singer/songwriter and performer. I am proud to be both and enjoy them both. It's funny how some days one will weigh over the other, which is just a signal to me that my mind is judging one as better, more secure, more fulfilling, cooler, etc, over the other. It's really cool to notice that my believing of my mind's programmed judgments is a signal that I'm listening to garbage, and not being present. All it takes is seeing that and "I'm back."

Thursday I had my first class of Committed Impulse with Josh Pais and it was awesome. It is an acting class at its root, but is heavily based on Transformation so it is all about being present. I'm still physically sore from it, as I haven't worked out in over a year; it has come at a perfect time as a reminder that I need to get back on my fitness. One really cool thing that Josh asks us to do in class: when we drift into our thoughts and go away and notice that we've gone away, to simply bring ourselves back to present and say out loud the phrase "I'm back." It is amazing how many times we all say it through a given evening, how much the mind wanders away back to the past, ahead to the future or into fantasyland. But all it takes is a simple noticing, taking your attention off or your internal conversation and into what's in front of you, or to the person that is speaking, and breathe.

And now for a musical note...videos I've been enjoying today on YouTube:

"Golden" by Jill Scott
"Dumb It Down" by Lupe Fiasco
"Gimme the Night" by George Benson
"You Got Me" by the Roots

As always, enjoy yourself.

Finding Passion

Two things y'all.

First is a favorite new song for me from Seal called "Human Beings". He sings with such passion and self-expression that he is a singer I truly admire, and I think it is really apparent in this song.

Second thing is a great podcast that really hits home for me. Ariel & Shya talk with Lenore about how to find her passion, and also about the way in which artists often impede themselves in their own lives with a very particular conversation. The conversation goes something like this.... "But I shouldn't have to work, I'm an artist!" Living in this conversation is a sure way not to be present, and certainly never a way to be happy as someone who does any kind of artistic endeavor. Being and artist with your life with whatever you are doing, wherever you are. All it takes is simple and full engagement in whatever you are doing, to come back to present, and to an enlightened way of being. It's so much easier than I ever imagined, once the judgments about myself and others drop, and I enjoy the moment wherever I am.

Listen to the Podcast on Finding Passion.

A Beautiful Day

To me, this song is all about enlightenment. Just listen to the lyrics. U2 performing "Beautiful Day" at Live 8 in Hyde Park, London. I hope you enjoy it. I did. :)

"What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day"

Watch it here.

Lake Tahoe Pictures - August 2007

Here’s a nice set pictures from my Lake Tahoe vacation with my mom, dad, aunt and uncle this past August. Enjoy the scenery of the Lake in the Sky and the great people in my family. You can find them here. It truly is majestic and magical place and I'm lucky to have grown up visiting year after year. I look forward to next year! So if you haven't gone to visit the Lake in the Sky yet, go already then! If these pictures can't convince you I don't know what will. :)

"Take Your Attention Off Yourself"

Do you notice how much your attention is on you? Really, take a look and see. Maybe it is or maybe it isn't, but follow along with me here if you will.

You know those conversations in your head about how you’re doing, how you’re feeling, how you look, what does this person think of ME, am I doing well, am I doing poorly…(chatter, chatter, chatter). It's just a bunch of mind chatter, that’s all, that you don’t have to listen to it.

I know that when I have the "how am I doing" conversation (and I have it often) it really takes up a lot of time where I could be enjoying life more, be getting more done, and be more effective at what I'm doing, all at the same time. Those this conversation happens often, it doesn't last very long as I get more trained in the skill set of Transformation. So what do I do? Not much, just notice, laugh and bring my attention to what's happening in the present.

Did I mention lightness? I love when the Kanes talk about how the middle part of the "Enlightenment" is "light". A key ingredient to Transformation, I think!

I invite you to play a game and see if you can notice throughout your day if you do this. If you catch your attention on you, simply bring it back to whatever is it that your doing, and if your doing nothing, stare at the wall, or the tree. I’m serious…really look at the textures, colors, tones, listen to the silence or swaying.

Below is a great podcast where The Kanes talk with Susan at their Self-Discovery Course. They’re having a great conversation about your attention off yourself, trying to be something instead of just being, and not working on yourself.

You can listen to the podcast here.

Instantaneous Transformation: My Introduction

I’ve never met people like Ariel & Shya Kane. When I first started attending their workshops over a year ago, I just happened to stumble upon the Kanes and Transformation from an invite of a newfound friend, who’s now a great friend. At the first Monday Night Alive that I attended, there was so much was resonating with what the Kanes were talking about in their lifestyle and their way of being.

A lot of it was confusing too, because my mind was trying to figure everything out. In working with the Kanes, I’m learning that there’s nothing to figure out, nothing to do, just see things non-judgmentally and they resolve themselves. I’m learning to live what used to only be a concept: things like not letting complaint run your life; that every moment can be alive; that what you think you want may or may not make you happy, but wanting what you have can instantly gratify. These ideas were totally foreign to me. Now it’s becoming such a regular way of being, it’s wild. One that pops up more and more is integrity and keeping to your word. The Kanes have integrity down like I haven't seen before.

I always heard phrases like “don’t take things personally” and “you’re good enough” but they were only passing words, not actually experiences of life. Now they’re becoming regular experiences too. I tried to make myself believe those things, say affirmations in my mind when I was down, tried to do many things, techniques, etc. But all those are difficult, time consuming, slow and in the area of “change”.

Transformation happens in an instant, where judgments about you, others and the world drop away and new possibilities that were unseen open up. It also addresses living life intuitively, without thinking about what you should or should be doing.

There are three principles to Instantaneous Transformation:

1) What you resist, persists, grows stronger and dominates your life

2) No two things can occupy the same space at the same time OR You can only be EXACTLY as you are, or were, in any given moment of now

3) Anything that you see without judging will complete itself

If you’re interested in leaning more about Transformation, I recommend starting with “Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work” My mom loves it. Seriously! The audio version is great too. The best is to come to a Monday Night Alive though, to get the experience in person. And it's a blast, you don't have to do anything or be anyone other that you are. Cheers.